By Eric Morecambe
An booklet omnibus of Eric Morecambe's vintage children's books, THE RELUCTANT VAMPIRE and THE VAMPIRE'S go back, illustrated through Tony Ross.
A surprising statement from the Vampire Prince -- that he doesn't like blood yet prefers chips and a pitcher of crimson wine -- starts a story of ghoulish intrigue and hilarious horror.
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Extra info for The Reluctant Vampire Omnibus
She checked out him, then clear of him, as she flicked his bow tie instantly, expelling a heavy breath that looked as if it would say, ‘Oh dear’. Vernon stored good within the shadows now not eager to be visible via them, nor someone for that subject. Victor and Valeeta, unknowingly watched by means of their son and inheritor, entered the police station to invite Sergeant Salt if he had any information approximately Vernon. Sergeant Salt regarded up from the file he used to be writing concerning the terrible deceased guy who used to be mendacity on a bench no more than 3 ft away. The ex-King held again the ex-Queen as they made their technique to the table. ‘Gutt Evenink,’ Victor smiled and flourished his hat within the type of a conjurer approximately to make the entire global disappear. ‘Hi ham the ex-Kink Victor, ant this can be mine ex-Queen Valeeta. ’ The Sergeant checked out the ex-Queen and stated, ‘Good night Madam, is there whatever i will do for you? ’ He was once as great as he should be. He knew that they have been Vampires virtually on probation. He additionally knew that they have been the oldsters of the depraved Vernon who had most probably killed the guy mendacity at the bench. yet he knew that they weren't to understand that as but. The ex-Queen, placing on her top smile, softly stated, ‘Have you visible whatever of my son because the statue fell down? ’ ‘Yah,’ extra Victor. Then, taking a look at the fellow at the bench he additional, ‘Drunk? ’ ‘No, dead,’ the Sergeant acknowledged quietly. ‘Dead under the influence of alcohol? ’ Victor laughed out loud, a valid corresponding to a guy being choked to dying. ‘No, Sir, no longer inebriated, simply dead,’ the Sergeant responded. Victor stopped giggling and requested, ‘Kilt? ’ ‘Yes, you'll say that. ’ The Sergeant regarded challenging at them either. ‘Please,’ the ex-Queen butted in. ‘Have you visible my son, Vernon? ’ ‘How vos this guy kilt? ’ continued Victor. ‘Oh, I’ll express you, Sir. I’ll express you, okay? ’ The Sergeant moved around his table and speedy made his technique to the lifeless guy. He moved the unlucky man’s cravat, exposing the 2 puncture marks in his neck. ‘That used to be how he was once killed, Sir,’ Sergeant Salt acknowledged, leaning a bit heavy at the sarcasm. ‘With a fork? ’ requested Victor. ‘No, Sir,’ the Sergeant acknowledged slowly and intentionally. ‘Not with a fork, yet with tooth. ’ He pointed to his personal enamel. ‘With the teeth probably a bit longer than mine. ’ ‘How lonk has he been kilt? ’ ‘What? ’ The Sergeant’s mood was once starting to exhibit a bit. ‘How lonk has he been kilt? Is he decades kilt? ’ ‘I’m no longer too convinced. probably an hour, perhaps rather less, I don’t understand. ’ The Sergeant used to be getting drained. He had had an extended day and now it used to be going to be a protracted evening. The ex-Queen was once drumming her lengthy arms at the table most sensible. ‘I haven't any desire to be impolite, yet may perhaps you please inform me, have you ever noticeable Vernon or heard from him? ’ The Sergeant spoke very softly yet with a firmness that insisted in your awareness: ‘No Madam, i have never noticeable or heard from Vernon. yet there's something you will be certain of. ’ He pointed to the guy at the bench. ‘He has. ’ ‘Leaf this to me, mine little royal relish,’ Victor acknowledged, realising the Sergeant used to be approximately to lose his mood.