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By Jeff Strand

Jeff Strand is the writer of a host of demented books, together with strain, DWELLER, a nasty DAY FOR VOODOO, WOLF HUNT, unmarried WHITE PSYCHOPATH SEEKS similar, BENJAMIN'S PARASITE, FANGBOY, THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE, and many others. Three-time Bram Stoker Award finalist. Three-time Bram Stoker Award loser. Four-time Bram Stoker Award grasp of Ceremonies.

Strand could be most sensible recognized for his ability at balancing funny and bad parts in a single story. Socially Awkward Moments with an Aspiring Lunatic showcases that infrequent expertise wonderfully.
This tale is gross, humorous, frightening, and simply simple traumatic. Jeff Strand is exceptional and he will be locked away.
Bust-your-gut humorous. Strand isnt in simple terms off his rocker the following, hes out of his freakin mind!
Author Strand has the pleasant skill to ladle out laughter and horror in heaping helpings, and those tales provide either enjoyable and worry in both huge doses.

Gleefully Macabre Tales

Ready to discover an effective method to sell off the truck packed with lifeless infants? within the temper to snicker on the sight of your personal blood? good, girls and gents, my ghoulishly humorous brief tale assortment, Gleefully Macabre stories, is now available!

Tales include…

“Disposal” (new to the paperback edition–previously released as a stand-alone hardcover)

“Really, fairly Ferocious” (the notorious “wiener dog” story)

“Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic” (from the long-sold-out chapbook)

“Them outdated West Mutations” (just an exceptional outdated “giant man-eating cockroaches within the outdated West” yarn)

“One of Them” (a younger boy visits a such a lot disagreeable carnival freak express indeed…)

“Roasting Weenies through Hellfire” (sort of like domestic on my own, yet with plenty of splatter, a zombie, and the devil)

A grisly and tense model of “The 3 Little Pigs” “Mr. Sensitive” (a leg-crossing, cringe-inducing cautionary tale)“BrainBugs” (they’re in there…squirming around…)
“The Socket” (sorry…this one’s sick!)

“Special Features” (it could be the final DVD observation song you ever hear to)

“Werewolf Porno” and “Sex Potion #147″ (from the sold-out chapbook humorous tales of frightening Sex)

Gracious! There’s even more…

A couple of great stories: “Glimpses” and “Abbey’s Shriek”

A double characteristic of vacation silliness: “Howard, the 10th Reindeer” and “Howard Rises Again”

A transcript of my 2006 and 2007 international Horror conference Gross-Out Contest entries (complete with embarrassed writer commentary)

And there’s much more a laugh depravity! “High Stakes.” “Wasting Grandpa.” “A chew for a Bite.” “Bad Coffee.” “An Admittedly unnecessary yet Mercifully short tale With extraterrestrial beings In It.” “Munchies.” “I carry the Stick.” “Scarecrow’s Discovery.” “Cap’n Hank’s 5 Alarm Nuclear Lava Wings.” “The undesirable sweet House.” And certain, much more! (Six extra, actually.)

Not to say a couple of pages of tale notes behind the ebook, for these of you who're into that kind of thing.

Previously released as a 300-copy hardcover constrained version by means of Delirium Books.

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No, no, I’m Howard, one in all Santa’s reindeer. This crumpled heap subsequent to me is Cupid. " "Hi," acknowledged Cupid, weakly. "We desire a sleigh! fast! Do you might have one? " Tyler concept for a second. "A couple, really. yet why should still I aid Santa? He by no means introduced me that Momma Helga’s Fruitcake Deluxe With additional eco-friendly Chunks I requested for while i used to be 5! It’s all I ever sought after! One awful fruitcake! Curse you, Santa! I paintings for the IRS due to you! " "I’m definite it wasn’t Santa’s fault," Howard insisted. "Those elves—you need to hold after them each moment. Do you already know what number teenagers acquired gypped throughout the Captain Hocker (With Super-Spitting motion) Doll craze? plenty. " "All correct, okay, you’ve confident me. The sleighs are within the storage, subsequent to the harem of maids and dancing women my real love acquired me final 12 months. There’ll be a few well-dressed men leaping round, so be cautious. " "Thank you lots! " stated Howard. "Let’s pass, Cupid! " ««—»» "All correct, Santa," knotted up Edward. "This is your fourth-to-last probability to cooperate! both you fork over the guide to the sleigh, or—" "Stop! " shouted Howard, his voice echoing dramatically throughout the moonlit skies. "Let Santa cross! " "My hero! " acknowledged Santa. "Hahahaha! " Edward remarked. "You imagine puny reindeer can cease my nefarious plot to damage Christmas? not anything can cease me! simply because whereas the nice little girls and boys have been going to college and studying the kingdom capitals, I’ve been accumulating the provides and doing the study and receiving the govt investment that has enabled me to build the Fearsome dying Ray of Doom! Hahahaha! " "Well, I’m lovely darn bummed," Santa remarked. Edward pressed the button on a handheld remote control. a few roof shingles slid out of ways, and the Fearsome dying Ray of Doom rose from the hidden panel. "This ray has the ability to crumble something! it may possibly crumble tissue paper! it may possibly collapse butterflies! it might fall apart Q-Tips! And until you cooperate, I’ll use it to spoil Santa’s sleigh! " He notion for a second. "Actually, with the entire trouble that went into making this loss of life ray, it’s type of dumb to make utilizing it contingent upon Santa’s loss of cooperation. Say so long for your sleigh, Kris, and hence see you later to Christmas! Hahahahaha! " "Wow," stated Cupid. "That idea earned 5 ‘ha’s. We’re in deep ka-ka! " Edward pressed one other button. The Fearsome demise Ray of Doom started to glow with a so much un-Christmasy mild. "Noooooooooooooooooo!!!! " screamed Howard, dashing ahead. The loss of life ray fired, simply as Howard leapt in entrance of it. Human and reindeer alike gasped as Howard used to be immediately reworked right into a small pile of ashes. "Dagnabbit! " twisted up Edward. "I purely had sufficient firepower for one shot! That does it! " He raised the knife, set free a awful conflict cry, and commenced to run towards Santa, his eyes wild with psychotic glee. At that second, a miracle occurred. The wind replaced, blowing Howard’s ashes into Edward’s eyes. "I’m blind! " he cried out, wasting his footing at the slippery roof.

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